Dating and relationships as we know them today, are totally different from what they used to be back in the time before social media. The whole dynamics of how we communicate and interact in relationships have changed ever since the day social media have come an essential part of our lives.
Breakups are hurtful and not easy, and sometimes tend to be ugly; but nowadays modern breakups have become even more difficult with the access that social media has given us into one another’s lives.
Before Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, we had our easy closures, we didn’t have the option of scrolling down our ex’s profile to check what they have been up to, where they go, or who they meet. Let alone grabbing our phone to check if they are online and instantly building up scenarios in our heads of who they’re talking to. And let’s admit it, we will definitely come across something we do not like, well at least once!
Humans are relatively curious by nature, especially when it comes to the ones they love. But this curiosity sometimes get totally out of our control, close to an obsession. At this point, it is pretty predictable to begin asking yourself ‘Should I block my ex?”
This debatable question is perceived by some as a prideful and bitter move, while others perceive it as necessary for a final closure. Also, we may question ourselves if an ex blocks us, what message are they sending? What are they trying to tell us? Does it mean they want nothing to do with us anymore? Or do they still have feelings that they are avoiding to see anything that might hurt them more?
There are several possible interpretations to why an ex chooses to block or not block you, here are some of them, but remember, there is no rule to be applied here.
Why some peoples choose to block their exes?
1. To keep themselves from constantly checking what their ex is up to. Some people can’t help but constantly keep an eye on their ex and what they’re up to in their lives. Have they moved on? Are they currently dating? Are they doing better and feeling happier without us? These are normal questions that come across our minds, but this approach keeps us stuck in the past and makes it harder for us to move on.
2. The breakup was messy. In cases where an ex has cheated or has broken beyond all the boundaries of respect, we get fueled up by anger - which is totally fair and normal - feeling we do not want anything to do with that person any more to an extent that anything we learn about their new lives can cause us more anger.
3. Seeking a final closure. Reaching a complete closure after a breakup is not always easy, especially when one side haven’t totally gotten over their feelings yet. In such cases, any contact or a simple comment on an Instagram post can spark things back again. Eventually, we find ourselves stuck in the breakup-back-together cycle.
4. They are playing mind games. In attempts to pull your heart strings, you ex may stir the waters of your inner peace by posting things on social media that can provoke you like writing something that is very obvious to involve you or relate to you without mentioning your name. Sometimes also, these mind games can include back and forth approach like dropping a line or a message to check on you, then disappearing. So in this scenario, the only optimum solution to stop ourselves from getting hurt by seeing such things, is blocking them altogether.
Why others choose not to block their exes?
1. The breakup was clean. In scenarios that do not involve cheating and where couples agree on a breakup for reasons such as incompatibility, falling out of love, or having different life purposes; the breakups are not usually ugly where both sides agree on parting different ways and prefer to keep things civilized and decent.
2. Want to leave the door open for another chance. We sometimes choose not to turn the page totally on a relationship, especially if we still have feelings. When our egos stop us from taking initiatives, whether due to how the relationship ended or in fear of rejection, we leave the door open, hoping for a step to be taken from the other side and for future reconciliation.
3. You don’t want to be perceived as bitter, childish, or hurt. Many people worry about blocking their ex so not to be perceived bitter, vindictive, or childish. Driven by ego and how we get perceived, people sometimes this will make them look weak, unable to move on, and deeply hurt.
So should you or should you not block your ex?
There is no rule of thumb to that question really, simply because we can’t treat every situation and every relationship circumstances as similar, but…
• If keeping your ex on your social media disturbs your inner peace, block them.
• If you don’t want to do it only because you are worried about how your ex will perceive and interpret it, do it and block them anyway. As long as it make you feel better, then what your ex or people think doesn’t really matter.
• If your feeling and emotions drive you to do things you regret later or make you feel weak, block them.
In the end, the deciding factor should not be revenge or wanting to hurt them back, because in the process, we hurt ourselves too. The decision shouldn’t be taken based on a moment of anger, should be well reflected upon, and above all, should serve our inner peace.