As a person, you probably went through a lot and still cannot move on from the horrific past traumatic experiences, you may feel like you’re alone like no one can understand what you’re going through. Your mind is filled with confusion, sadness, anger, and revenge. You want to take matters into your own hands and have the ultimate payback to all who did you wrong. You want them to feel the same way they made you feel, but they moved on, they left you hurt and damaged like it’s another regular day for them. This trauma is shaping the way you view life and you base it on how to approach everything, work, family, relationships, you name it. How to move on and live life normally after everything you grew up knowing is shattered? You grew up with the expectation that you should always be kind to people, that if you do good deeds, they will be returned to you, and that if you find love, you will live happily ever after, that your family will always have your back. What happens when one of these ideologies is shattered by bad experiences? How can people expect to you act normally after that? How do you believe that it’s something that can be easily brushed off?
Well, here’s the kicker…
No one is immune from trauma. A tough and harsh reality that we all have to face as humans. If you look at everyone you’ve ever encountered in your life, you’ll find that all of them had a traumatic experience that made them more wary and distant, yet they are resilient, keep on putting on a smile, and work on healing themselves. From a tragic childhood to a tough relationship or growing up in a dysfunctional family, everyone has baggage from their past that they wish they would erase from their memories, but that will never happen. So they try their best to move on, cry their eyes out, scream, go to therapy, and make small changes.
You might say, “Well, not everyone has gone through what I’ve gone through” or “No one will understand the horror and the trauma that made me the way I am now” Technically, you are both right and wrong, as not of us has the same personality or grew up with the circumstances like you, but it shouldn’t be a factor to dismissing what other people have experienced.
We all experienced the death of a beloved family member, we all had our hearts broken, and we all didn’t that job promotion that we all worked blood, sweat, and tears on it, but we survived. It took time for us to work on ourselves and address those inner demons, cope with the sadness, and learn how to avoid toxic behavior and people, but we did it, and so can you.
To be completely honest, it won’t be a walk in the park to heal from trauma, those repressed emotions, and suppressed anger and frustrations. You will have your moments of triumph and moments of loss, but that’s life. The important thing is to do the work and be patient, to allow yourself to express those negative feelings in a safe environment through therapy, but it will be worth it. Yes, the first step to the healing journey might seem scary and big, but once you take it, you will feel like a large weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you can finally catch your breath. It’s up to us to survive, to thrive regardless of the terrible things we went through, to be courageous, vulnerable, and most importantly, kind.
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