8 Keys for a Tip-Top Long Term Relationship

Marriage and other long-term relationships tend to be the stem from which social contracts develop. In Egypt, there are just under one million marriages a year, according to the Central Agency for Public Mobilization and Statistics (CAPMAS). At the same time, however, 200,000 married couples get a divorce every year; and research suggests that 40% of marriages end within the first five years.

Maintaining a long-term relationship is definitely a challenge; but with the help of relationship expert and author Dr. Terri Orbuch, we have managed to bring you a comprehensive guide to sustain a great long-lasting relationship. In an email interview, Orbuch shared with Egypt Today her top eight tips that will help you understand more about relationship dynamics and keep your relationship in tip-top shape.

The author of 5 Simple Steps to Take your Marriage from Good to Great, Orbuch is also a professor at Oakland University in Michigan, USA; and the director of a landmark study funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), where she has been following the same couples for almost three decades to observe their relationship.

The world-renowned relationship expert, author, public speaker, professor and researcher has helped thousands of people around the world develop a more successful relationship with their partners and get the love they deserve. She mainly focuses on helping couples maintain a healthy relationship, understand the different between lust and love, give each other what they need and deeply understand relationship dynamics.

Here are her top eight tips to make your relationship great:

1. Do little things every day to show you care
“Write a note, hug your partner, give them a back-rub, buy them dessert, put gas in their car because you know they need it,” says the expert
Doing little things often shows our partner we care about them, which makes a long-term relationship stable and happy.

2- Compliment each other daily
“It [compliments] shows that you notice each other and that the other person is special. We all like to be noticed and valued, and to not be taken for granted,” Orbuch explains.

3- Practice the 10-minute rule
“Every single day, talk with your partner for at least 10 minutes about something other than four things—work, family, chores around the hour, or your relationship. Communication is when you share intimate thoughts, goals, and dreams,” she advises.

Orbuch’s suggested topic ideas: what are you most proud of? What do you regret doing in the last year? Where would you like to travel to and why?

4. Get out of your rut
“Do something new and different together. Upset the routine enough to add excitement. It doesn’t have to be a big change,” the relationship expert suggests, explaining, “All relationships have ruts, and couples that stay in those ruts become bored, which erodes happiness over time.”

Orbuch’s suggested ideas: Join a gym together, start a new dance class, get up early and take a hike in nature, or go to a new restaurant for the first time.

5. Fight fair
“All couples have disagreements, particularly in long-term relationships. You can't expect to agree on everything. It's how you handle and manage conflict in general that is important. Handle the conflict in a healthy, constructive way,” Orbuch points out.

6. Don't believe in fairy-tales
“Have realistic expectations in relationships,” Orbuch guides, elaborating, “When you have unrealistic expectations, and you believe in fairy-tale relationships, your real relationships can't meet those expectations, which can cause frustration. Frustration eats away at happiness.”

7. Accept your partner’s uniqueness
“We all have moments when we wished our partner was different—thinner, wealthier, more romantic, more communicative, and so on. Focus on the positives. When we focus and strengthen the positives, it motivates us to move forward,” recommends the expert.

8. Remember that relationships are also about fun and laughter
“Balance the rational aspects of your relationship with the fun parts,” Orbuch suggests. Try to rediscover together the pure delight of playing a game or laughing over a silly movie.