Stop sabotaging your future with your negative self-talk

CAIRO – 14 November 2017: “The thoughts we think and the words we speak are constantly shaping our world and our experiences. Many of us are in an old habit of negative thinking and do not realize the damage we have inflicted upon ourselves. However, we are never stuck, because we can always change our thinking. As we learn to consistently choose positive thoughts, the old, negative ones dissolve away,” an excerpt from “Life!: Reflection on your Journey” by Louise Hay.

Self-talk creates reality. Negative self-talk can lower your self-confidence, self-esteem and happiness, keeping you from accomplishing your goals.

Studies show that it is pretty easy to go from positive thinking to negative thinking, but it is far harder to shift from negative to positive. The good news is that, like any other muscle, our mind could as well be trained. It will take some effort, but it is absolutely worth it because it is a life-changing skill.

So how do we train it?

1. Watch what you focus on:

There is a great metaphor that describes the mind as a computer that has tons of files and a search window. Our focus is the search button, so if we are focusing on the negatives in ourselves/ others, it automatically keeps searching all the files for more negatives. And if we focus on positive thoughts, it comes up with even more positive thoughts. “What you focus on grows.”


Watch what you focus on - Photo Via Pixabay by CC0 Creative Commons-Free-Photos

2. Self-awareness:

Noticing what type of conversations you have with yourself is important. Are these conversations positive and affirming or the opposite? Learn to catch yourself when they are negative and immediately replace them with positive ones, reminding yourself of your past achievements, success, and of the good comments that you have previously received.

3. Choose your words carefully:

The most powerful two words are “I Am” so be very cautious how you use them. People say things like “I am so stupid” or “I am completely blowing this.” Instead, stop and use words like “I am tired and cannot concentrate” or “this is not my best performance. I will do better when I am rested.” The words you choose are planted in the fertile soil of your imagination and take root. Listening to positive affirmation on daily basis can help you change your vocabulary about yourself and boost your self-confidence.

4. Gratitude:

Research at UC Davis shows that just by writing for a few minutes each day about things that you are grateful for can dramatically boost your happiness, well-being, and even your health. We tend to think that misery loves company and that venting will help get rid of our negative emotions, so we continuously talk about all the bad stuff and we forget to talk about the good stuff.


Gratitude - Photo Via Pixabay by Johnhain

5. Here and now:

The past is over and you cannot go back in time except in your own mind. Replaying yesterday takes away today’s precious moments. Do not let the past control your present and future. Release all thoughts about what you should have/ not done/ said. The past is over and has no power over you. Today’s thoughts create your future; you are in charge.

6. Release your fear:

We all passed through some harmful experiences that we do not want to repeat again. Past experiences are here to teach us a lesson and help us grow; not to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Release all fears from past negative experiences. Tell yourself that you have learned your lesson, and if the same situation happens, you will react in a wiser way. Set your mind that you will not be harmed twice by the same situation because you are in control.


Release your fear - Photo Via Pexels - Pixabay
7. Meditation & mindfulness:

In order to be able to do the above steps, you will need to have some quiet time in your daily routine to connect with yourself and reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Meditation is to listen to your intuition trusting that life is happening FOR you and not TO you.

It is not what we say out loud that really determines our lives. It is what we whisper to ourselves that has the most power. So do not be a victim of negative self-talk.

About Marlin:

With long-term, multicultural life experiences in world-class communities across the globe, Marlin Soliman takes our day-to-day communication to a whole new level. She helps her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters in an adequate manner.

Her experience in PR includes working as a celebrity manager in the prestigious agency MAD Solutions, renowned for handling celebrities’ affairs. Marlin handled many celebrities, including Hend Sabry, Nahed El Sebai, Yasmin Raeis, scenarist and producer Mohamed Hefzy, director Marwan Hamed, director Hadi El Bagoury and music composer Tamer Karawan.

Her educational background afforded her the opportunity of being well exposed to various aspects of communication. Soliman earned her bachelor’s in French language and literature and mass communication at Anderson University in the U.S. She also studied French Literature at La Sorbone University in France, received an executive management diploma from the American University in Cairo and a certificate in training TOT from the International Communication Training Institute in the U.K.

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