It’s almost two weeks since the start of the new year, and you’re probably in the midst of working on your New Year’s resolutions. You feel excited, and motivated to start fresh, begin on a clean slate, and open a new chapter in your life; however, a new thought emerges in your brain, telling you that you’re incapable of doing new things or starting fresh because you’re unworthy, it tells you that you have done bad deeds and good things shouldn’t happen to bad people, making you doubt yourself, and entering a self-loathing phase. We all have been there. No matter how brutal the past was to you and how mean you were, you are not worthy of redemption or forgiveness, and you deserve all the bad things that happen to you later in life. If that’s the case (which it isn’t) then this principle should be applied to everyone, right? When a close friend of yours speaks up about his troubled past and is looking to have a clean slate, do you think that he is irredeemable or do you think that as long as he/she has learned their mistake, it's ok for them to start again and should forgive themselves?
This year, embrace forgiveness and redemption through these simple steps.
Acknowledge That Everyone Makes Mistakes
When you put yourself on a higher moral pedestal and think that if you make a mistake, you are inherently wrong and a bad person, and no one makes that same mistake, you put too much pressure on yourself to become a better person. Everyone you know has made mistakes, whether intentional or not. All of your family members, friends, coworkers, and romantic partner, have been the bad guys in someone’s life, and yet it doesn’t stop them from improving themselves, so why should you not let yourself be better?
Therapy is the Solution
If you are constantly blaming yourself and feel like you’re not good enough, then it's time to go to a therapist to unlock those hidden feelings of resentment you feel towards yourself. Because why do you think that a new year and starting fresh is something beyond your reach?
A therapist will help you understand yourself better and guide you on the road to healing.
Write A List of Good Traits That You Have
We all have various traits, the good, the bad and the ugly, so instead of focusing on the bad and the ugly, write the traits that make you special and beloved by people. Even those small acts of kindness you’ve made during your formative years, no matter how insignificant you think they are, always see yourself as a person of value, that possesses good qualities and is worthy of love.
These small actions have a bigger impact, and always remember, that there’s always room for improvement, that you are worthy of good things and that no matter how things got uglier in the past, there’s always a place for you to start fresh, without hostility or self-hatred,
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