Recently, the dating scene has been described as exhausting, from having a bad date to people fearing to commit or being extra clingy, so finally when we find someone we're compatible with, it's a relief, and with it comes this period of fascination and somehow you end up ignoring everything because you are into each other, AKA (the honeymoon phase), however, we all know the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever.
Once the butterflies in your stomach start to fade, you’re entering a new phase in your relationship where you’re both comfortable being yourselves, where being careful about how you behave or being perceived is slowly declining. In some relationships, couples may adjust to the changes and can live happily ever after, while other relationships fail for various reasons. For instance, sometimes things aren’t under our control like; the right person, wrong timing dilemma, or incompatibility. Other times, it is under our control and ruined by our behaviors and attitudes towards the other person or unconscious mistakes.
in order to make a relationship work or understand what went wrong, you have to understand patterns and behaviors, so here are 5 common mistakes that we make that negatively impact our relationships.
Too Much Criticism
No one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect, so if you constantly criticize your partner, it will not motivate him to change. Instead, the nagging and criticism will make them feel dissatisfied and annoyed. Relationships are about understanding, not being criticized or being nagged at. Relationships should be filled with feelings of love and acceptance regardless of our imperfections. As a result of being unnecessarily critical, your partner will feel that they are not good enough, leading to cutting off honest communication between both of you in order not to be judged or criticized.
Avoiding Confrontation
Arguments are a part of any healthy relationship especially, if you’re using them to resolve an issue. Positive confrontations give both of you the chance to grow as a happy couple, speak up if something is bothering you, and take any conflict in a positive direction. On the contrary, choosing to ignore your problems or avoiding conflicts will end up becoming bitter and resentful and this will poison your relationship.
Taking Your Partner for Granted
If you want to save your relationship, you’d better know the difference between being kind and being taken for granted. Simply treat them the way you want to be treated and appreciate them for the small things they do every day. Let them know that you will never take them for granted and don’t assume that they know it all. It’s important to step back and look at your partner with more empathetic eyes and don’t leave them questioning whether they are enough for you or not.
Bringing Up the Past
This is a mistake that usually kills any relationship. Maybe you and your partner went through a big conflict or fight where one of you made a mistake. Bringing it up every time you fight or are talking about something else is a toxic habit for your relationship. Though it shows that you are not over the mistake yet, it is better to talk about it healthily than to bring it up out of context, and don’t say that you’re okay when you are not.
Unrealistic Expectations
When the reality doesn’t match our expectations, it can lead to dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Relating your life with your partner to another couple can destroy your relationship. Bloggers and social media can raise your expectations for having an ideal relationship but in reality, an ideal relationship doesn’t exist. Comparing your partner or your relationship to another can put your partner under the pressure of trying to be another perfect one which will end up losing themselves and their identity.
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