Friendships can be one of our greatest sources of joy in life, but this does not mean all friendships are healthy. Sometimes, we may discover that our close friends drain our energy; these are often called "toxic friendships". This can negatively impact our well-being, and bring exhaustion and frustration to our lives. The distress we experience being in toxic friendships changes us in so many ways, affecting us emotionally, and making it hard for us to trust new people. You should consider re-evaluating the friendship if you notice any of the following signs.
Constant Criticism
People have different personalities and a true friend should accept your differences, encourage, and support you. Constructive criticism is a part of healthy relationships especially when you ask for guidance, while in toxic friendships criticism can be frequent and harsh; they will always have something negative to say about you. This can lead to decreased self-esteem, you will doubt your strengths and capabilities, and you will start to normalize this treatment.
Lack of Support
True friends offer support when you need it, but what if you need their support in something but they’re always unavailable? If you are the one who always makes an effort to share with that friend and they never take the first step to ask about your well-being, surely there’s something wrong with this friendship. You will feel minimized and ignored or may decide they never offer support because you ask for help too often. Later on, you will start to accept this toxic behavior and stop expecting anything better.
Noticeable Jealousy
Achievements and successes should be met with celebration and happiness. If you notice your friend doesn’t feel happy or proud of your achievements, rarely compliments you, or tries to compete with you, instead, they react to your good news with jealousy or annoyance. Furthermore, they may feel jealous and frustrated by the other people in your life and may insult them. Dealing with this negativity can cause stress, anxiety, irritability, and other physical symptoms.
Unreciprocated Efforts
There should be a balance of give and take, but if you’re always the one giving making time for them, listening, and putting in the effort, then there is a big imbalance in your friendship and this is a red flag. The energy required to manage a toxic friendship can leave you feeling emotionally drained, reduce your ability to focus, work effectively, and prevent you from enjoying other relationships
Unstoppable Drama
Healthy friendships should provide you with a sense of stability and peace, but when they get extremely irritated and angry over tiny things with constant drama and unnecessary conflict this could be emotionally draining and exhausting. People that have that victim mentality, can lead you to isolate yourself from other friends and family, and will make you feel lonely and depressed.
Manipulative Behaviors
A toxic friend may be using this tactic to gain control and change your behavior, or emotions. Toxic people may use guilt-tripping or gaslighting to win any argument or to persuade you to do something in a way that serves their interests. What is the outcome of manipulation? You will start to think that you’re irresponsible and whenever something goes wrong, you will believe that you deserve it.
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