They say that being a mother is one of the greatest joys to have in your life. Giving birth, watching your babies grow to become great people, contributing to society, and overall sharing all the kindness and knowledge that you gave them to the world. But you are also aware that from the moment you got pregnant, nothing has stayed the same, from the physical change, hormonal changes and mental turbulence you went through and just as you finally you have come out victorious from giving birth, the real hard journey of raising kids, keeping up with everything, and maintaining your sanity has begun.
Despite motherhood having immense pleasure and excitement, it also has anxiety, depression, and constant worrying about the state of everything in your life and your children’s lives. You keep overthinking about what college your kids are going to when they are just two months old. Worrying about whether they will be having the same hardships as you, whether educational, emotional, or mental anguish. So you over-plan everything, making a comprehensive guide to how to handle your kids’ lives and guide them with extensive backup plans if things go south.
Yet with all of that being said and done, you always feel like there’s something missing, an element you can not pinpoint if you actually did everything as you should have, in other words, you begin questioning how good of a mother you are and if you are doing by your children or not.
From comparing to how you were raised, to reading books on parenting techniques or just watching other parents seem like they are doing everything so effortlessly, you end up doubting yourself, affecting your mental and emotional state.
You want the best for your children, it’s understandable and it’s a noble thing, yet it shouldn’t be at the expense of your wellbeing too. If there’s anything that’s so obvious and is widespread these days that no mother knows exactly what she is doing.
In the movie Bad Moms, Mila Kunis’s monologue at the PTA elections is real and relatable. Despite the movie being a comedy, each mother depicted in that movie shows a fraction of the struggles a mother faces in her daily life, from romantic life to taking care of herself and her children. The monologue gives an example of how no matter how hard you try, there will always be a misstep, and not all people have it under control as it seems. What matters is the intention, the drive to show love and support, to give a safe space for children to grow and feel like whatever endeavor they go into in their lives, whether it’s a failure or a success, they can always run back to you.
It’s not always about making sure that they go to every single practice, that they need to ace every exam and join every summer camp to enhance their productivity, what your children will remember is the kindness, patience, and joy you bring to their lives.
It sounds a bit cliche and uninspiring but you need a break too, and to remember that nothing in life goes as planned, what matters is your actions and how you are able to foster a healthy environment for yourself and your family.
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