Reminiscing About the Past You Left Behind

It’s insightful to look back at the past and see the actions that led you to where you are now. From relationships to work, we see events in a different light and can pinpoint the moment when everything changes. While this practice is beneficial, dwelling on the past too much is painful and may lead to regretting the things you’ve made instead of seeing your progress. Why do we keep on revisiting the past and feel bad for the decisions we made? Why do we reexamine everything we’ve made and fall into “what if” scenarios? As humans with one life to live, we tend to think about a timeline when we made the other choice instead of the one we made. 

 

 

We stay up all night thinking about what could have been with things like “What would have happened if I stayed in that relationship?” “What was going to be the outcome if I didn’t change my career path?” “Did I Make the right choice to be where I am right now? “ Do I deserve the outcome I got?” 

 

As much as life is unpredictable, one thing remains for sure: unlike Marty Mcfly, we cannot go back in time. We are not Dr. Strange who can manipulate timelines and change the past. We made the decision and we have to live with it. 

 

To be fair and honest, we all have our tendency to wonder if we made the right choice when things go south. It’s a part of the human condition to question everything and everyone. But to move on and enjoy life, here are things to keep in mind when remembering the past and questioning your decisions.

 

There Are No Right or Wrong Choices

I mean there are red lines not to be crossed, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to decisions like work, school, and relationships, things that aren’t bound by morals and laws, there are no right or wrong choices. We make these decisions knowing the pros and cons, the consequences, and the fallout of said action. We feel bad and helpless and begin to ask “what if” questions only when things don’t go our way and because a slightly bad outcome happened when we weren’t ready or we were in a bad mental place. 

 

For instance, you choose a certain career path because you like what you do and you know that it is your passion but one slight mistake that’s happened at work can make you question whether is this the right job for you. So ask yourself, if this mistake didn’t happen, would you be asking yourself the same question? Will you regret choosing this career or this was a bad day and this is not the end of the world? 

 

 

Another example can be about your relationship. You meet someone and you think you can build a life with this person, but after a while, you find out that despite that person being good-hearted, the chemistry isn’t there, so you let go, only to find out that they moved on and you are still single. Now, if you weren’t single and you found the one, would you be thinking about your ex? 

 

Each Decision you Make Has Made a Positive Impact on your Life 

While you might think that this point in your life has no good impact on your life, however, each decision you make is a blessing in disguise. We all make mistakes, we all have our impulsive behaviors and we all dive into the waters instead of testing it. It is just a part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Whether it was a rational or irrational decision, you have come out of it wiser. You can now see the error of your ways and the benefits of your decisions. If that’s not a win, then what is?

 

 

Jealousy and Familiarity are Why We Clinch to the Past 

Summarizing why we are reminiscing the past can be because of two factors:

1- you’re scared of change 

2- you’re not accepting of seeing other people embracing the things you let go of. 

 

First, change is scary, and entering unfamiliar phases is terrifying. So instead of embracing the change and moving forward, we hold on to the past because it is familiar. 

 

Second, we are not ok with the idea of letting go of the past because it is how we feel jealous. 

 

Before you get defensive, let me explain why I say this. 

When we let go of things like relationships and seeing our past partner in another relationship, we feel jealous and we instantly want them back. It’s like letting go of our childhood toys and wanting them back because we feel like we are missing something. Even though we let it go because we grew out of it, and that’s not very forward-thinking, is it? 

 

In short, looking back at the past is something that is okay to do, only to recap and reflect on what went wrong or what went right, not to feel bad and regret. 

Look forward, always.