Movies and shows have a start and an end. Character arcs and story progressions are wrapped up with a bow, whether it’s happy or sad. In the world of shows and movies, everything ends perfectly and everyone gets what they deserve, they harvest what they planned and it’s not abrupt. There are no loose ends, nor surprises but the biggest surprise of them all is that no matter how real the stories we’ve seen on the screen are, they aren’t real.
Real life is way more complicated with too many side plots and loose ends. So when it comes to relationships that end all of a sudden, we get the urge to seek closure, to have all the questions answered, and to have the story finished. We want to be the authors of our own story, to write the perfect ending and give it the proper farewell.
However, some relationships and even friendships can end like your favorite show being canceled after a cliffhanger. We keep going and drive ourselves crazy looking for an answer. We hate the loose ends and the lack of finding peace, for we look for the answers to be unlocked by the other party.
I hate to break it to you but the perfect ending to your relationship or friendship doesn’t exist. It’s very hard to understand the type of anger we feel when things don’t go the way we’ve planned. How can we not get closure? How can we rest without solving everything? We feel helpless and frustrated. We beg people to give us the answer that we are entitled (rightfully so) to finally have the doors shut on that chapter, but they don’t do that nor do they care to provide you with anything.
I’ll tell you with a plot twist you didn’t see it coming, the power of closure is up to you.
You Are the One Who Closes the Door
No matter how hurt you feel or the status of your mental health is extremely weak due to the pain of the sudden end of your relationship or friendship, you cannot expect people to hand you closure. Closure and letting go of the past is something that you and only you have the power to do. You’re the chosen one to finally put a lock on the door and throw away the key far out of reach. It’s a painful step to take for sure, but it’s more helpful, powerful, and therapeutic than you can imagine.
We cannot wait for someone to give us peace of mind while we have the keys to achieve zen ourselves. The road to accepting the end of a relationship is bumpy and filled with setbacks, memory lanes, and flashbacks to the good times and bad times, but the end of the road is peace and we are the ones who are driving the car, we own the car that will make us go to peace and no one can drive it but ourselves.
Closure is About Control and You must Control the Narrative
If the relationship is toxic, then the toxic party will relish the idea that he or she has the upper hand in making you feel good or feel bad. They will use this power to dangle the closure keys in front of you but will never give it to you. The only way to get yourself closure is by controlling the narrative and giving yourself happiness, strength, and resilience to move forward. Even if you feel weak and consumed both physically and mentally, you have an immense power to let go and forget that you cannot comprehend. Take charge of your life and make yourself the leader of your own life.
Don’t wait for someone’s orders or words and march to the beat of your drums.
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