The internet. The double-edged sword of the 21st century. The place where everything goes viral, everybody can be whoever they want to be and do whatever they want.
We consume the internet daily and cannot imagine our lives without it. From ordering food, and communicating with family, to consuming media and everything in between. The internet has been integrated into our DNA.
With all that being said, it seems that people find the concept of online dating to be odd and not fit the culture where we are. The responses range from the simple: 'It's weird” or “Not my cup of tea” to absolute refusal 'I don’t feel safe putting myself online to find love.” or “Online dating encourages hookup culture.”
If we are dissecting the situation from the point of view of the people who cannot get a grasp of online dating due to it being unfamiliar, or that finding a partner should be done in the traditional way, we have to break the illusion and say that people have been open to communicate and find love and friends way before the internet became a thing.For example, newspapers back in the day had a section for love matches or people who are looking to have new friends.
Moving to another medium, there were shows made for the sole purpose of helping people find dates like The Dating Game which premiered in 1965. So the concept isn’t really new.
So if we are talking about dating apps being a weird place to find love, because the internet can be unreliable, Rihanna once said “We found love in a hopeless place.” and we don’t argue with the queen.
Jokes aside, there is some truth to the internet being a weird place whether for finding love or not, but when it comes to dating, there are a lot of pros and cons to the idea. Just like anything that exists, it has its good, bad, and ugly sides of it, so let’s start with the good.
The Good Side
Dating apps are a great way to meet people, especially if you’re an introvert and want to communicate with people without peer pressure. The beauty of dating apps stems from the power of choice. You see a profile of someone you feel like you share a common interest with and you can choose to text, if it ends well, you can meet up.
It’s about the removal of barriers and demolishing the idea of what if you never find “the one.” Some stories do end up with marriage and a great fairy tale wedding. These stories do exist and should not be discounted.
Moving on to the bad sides of dating apps, we have to talk about ghosting.
The Bad Side
No matter how much you try to get to know someone, there is always that one person who ends up ghosting you without explanation. This might lead to lowering someone else`s self-esteem and make them feel like they are not worthy of being in someone else`s life. It’s a harsh reality that people can be cruel. Some people sign up for dating apps to find a soulmate and end up with no dates, or worse, having the expectations risen only to be let down by a person who didn’t bother to text back or give an explanation of why they don`t want to meet up again.
This is a sample of the bad side of online dating and that’s nothing when comparing it to the ugly side of it, which boils down to shame.
The Ugly Side
To be completely fair and unbiased, people tend to see online dating as a means for quick hookups and fun, and at the same time, those people who use it for the same purpose have the tendency to shame women and belittle them just for signing up for the app.
According to them, our culture is rooted in tradition, a girl must be pure and innocent, and she cannot have agency or freedom of choice to select the man of her dreams. Her being on an app makes her a commodity, she’s not a person, but a body. A classic Madonna-Mistress Complex. Women to them aren’t complicated or ambitious, they are means to have casual fun and that’s it. That’s why lots of women tend to not sign up because of the stigma that comes with it.
The same goes for men, some women, automatically judge a man for using a dating app, calling them players, bad boys, and immature.
If we are being real, anyone can use any app, dating or not, to get what they want.
Noting that there are tons of people who got messages on their Instagram, Facebook, and even LinkedIn. If someone wants something, the purpose of the app will not stop them.
It seems like no one is winning when it comes to the online dating game, but there’s a change in the air.
The Evolution of Dating Ideologies in Egyptian Culture
The shift is slow but it’s here. Day after day, it seems that people are coming to terms with the fact that dating apps are here to stay.
People are being cautious though about who they will be meeting. They choose to meet at a coffee shop near their place in case things go south and women are now sharing their locations and being safe just in case.
Online dating itself is nothing new but people like yell shame and disregard even though we see countless love stories that started with apps like Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram but that’s because they weren’t advertised as dating apps so in their mind it's legit.
It’s time to end the shame cycle and embrace that we are all humans and we are allowed to meet and possibly fall in love with someone we met online.
Love is love, whether it happened offline or online.
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