Since the beginning of time, in all faiths and religions, there is one universal, timeless virtue that is praised, encouraged, and urged upon: kindness. Kindness is the epitome of humanity, it is the highest form of wisdom, an underestimated type of strength. Yes, kindness is strength, but maybe we’ve been hurt so many times before that we began to hate how kind we are. Maybe, something has made us believe otherwise; that kindness is a weakness.
Our culture has made us believe that being kind is weak, that kindness will get you walked over.
It’s only until very recent years that the narrative has changed in praise of kindness. Generally, the heartless or less vulnerable people were looked up to as unbreakable, strong, and untouchable. No one wants to mess with a ruthless person, but everyone can easily be mean to a kind person without feeling bad about it. It has become so common to hurt a kind person, knowing they would never hurt us back out of the kindness of their heart. But when it comes to a person whose heart has no mercy, we fear stepping over their toes, crossing their lines, or pushing their buttons. It is only fair, at that point, for a kind person to hate their warm compassionate nature, linking the pain and hurting they have undergone in their lives to their kind heart. The kind ones are now embarrassed by their kindness and would do anything to go against their nature.
The pain we go through makes us believe that our kindness is the root of our suffering.
Every time a kind-hearted person gets hurt or disappointed by their nearest and dearest, they set the blame on themselves, failing to acknowledge that it is not their kind heart that caused them so much pain, but rather the coldness of others’ hearts, their weakness camouflaged with cruelty, a defense mechanism they’ve adopted because they as well are scared of getting hurt yet again. We then do everything we can to become less of who we are and more of what our flawed culture dictates us to be: heartless being causing pain to protect ourselves from feeling pain.
It’s a sad and harsh truth about life that kindness will not always be repaid back with kindness.
It can be hard for our minds to believe that people can respond to kindness with harshness and coldness. How is it possible that kindness can be met with rudeness, and pain-inflicting instead of compassion? It is a fact that is hard to grasp but rather essential to accept so as not to lose faith in kindness and in who we are.
It is hard to choose kindness when in doing such you become taken for granted.
The question will always be ‘does everyone deserve your kindness?’ Ideally, maybe not everyone deserves your kindness but in fact when we choose kindness, we do it for ourselves, not for others, we do it because this is who we are, this is one of the values that we believe in. When your kindness pushes us towards being taken for granted don’t replace your compassionate nature with coldness in your heart. You can simply detach from those who hurt you, and let them go, they may or may not come to realize your value later. But in all cases don’t rot your heart with bitterness.
Being kind is not weak. Being kind is not an embarrassment. Being kind is not naïve. Kindness is strength. Kindness is humane. Kindness is priceless. Choose kindness always, and if they take it for granted, just walk away.
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