A true, good friend is someone you should feel comfortable around. Someone you can be your real self with, enjoy their company, and don’t leave you second guessing their intention. This is how friendship should be. But if in a friendship, you feel drained, exhausted, uncomfortable, and always stressed, then you need to reevaluate the situation. Sometimes, we fall into the trap of toxic friendships thinking that we should accept people the way they are because we all have our own flaws, but, are all flaws acceptable? And the more important question is how much of a bad impact do these flaws have on you? If you are friends with someone who matches these signs, rest assured this friendship is toxic.
1. You are constantly fighting. It is all normal for friends to fight, but if bad blood is the standard of this friendship, that’s a surefire sign of lack of communication and misunderstanding or that both your personalities don’t get along well.
2. They drain you. How you feel around that person tells a lot. If you feel tense, edgy, or stressed out the moment you see their number on your phone or when you spend time together, then definitely it isn’t a healthy friendship.
3. They put you down and don’t feel supported. A toxic friend, instead of uplifting and pushing you forward, always puts your spirits down. They don’t recognize your accomplishment or do not cheer for your good news.
4. They gossip about others all the time. It is hard to trust someone who is always gossiping about others. As the saying goes ‘If they gossip with you, they will gossip about you.’
5. You give more than you receive. You find you are the one who always gives constant support and are always there for them while they are barely there for you, even when it comes to small favors.
6. They keep in touch when it is important to them. They would nag you insensitively when they need something but would totally vanish on you if there’s nothing they want from you.
7. It is always about them and their problems alone. They always come around when they are having problems but do not care enough to check on you or make sure you are doing well. They get the advice or the help and then fly with it.
8. They do not respect your boundaries. They would push you to do things you are not interested in just because it is more appealing to them. They might even ask you to cancel your existing plans just to tag along with them in something they want.
9. They are very dramatic. They stir up drama everywhere they go, whine constantly, and pinpoint your and others’ flaws instead of looking at the good side of things and people.
10. You don’t even know why you’re friends with them. They don’t add value to you or your life. There’s nothing good in it for you in this friendship and you keep wondering why you are still friends with them.
While it’s always nice and kind to give second chances and try to fix things, it is not always the best idea. You need to accept the fact that some situations are not fixable and it is not best for you to stay where you feel drained and taken advantage of, especially after you’ve exhausted all attempts to keep this friendship going in a healthy manner for both sides.
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