Keeping your relationship alive and strong takes a lot of work, and even the strongest bonds can be broken with a pileup of small mistakes and shortcomings. Without a doubt cheating, lying, and disrespect are the most common issues that can break any relationship, but then in other situations, you may notice that the relationship is on the verge of breaking and can’t figure out why. For you to know, it is not always the big mistakes, sometimes it’s those little things that we turn a blind eye to that take the relationship to a dead end. Here are common mistakes that we do them unconsciously without knowing their impact on the relationship.
1. Keeping secrets. Willingly concealing and hiding things from your partner will eventually lead to breaking the trust between you two and working on broken trust can be one of the hardest things to do.
2. Carrying baggage from your previous relationship. Carrying emotional baggage from a previous relationship and projecting these issues on your partner is like blaming them for what others did to you before you meet them. Carrying emotional baggage stops you from being your true self, holds you back, and keeps you always in the defensive mood because you are expecting them to hurt you as others did before.
3. Thinking it should always be easy. Relationships, like everything else, are a constant work in progress. They need attention and care day in and day out. Thinking that your relationship should always be smiles, laughs, and good times is delusional. Keep yourself grounded in reality.
4. Avoiding confrontation at all costs. Silent treatment, passive-aggressive behavior, and bottling up can do way more harm than confrontation. Confrontations do not mean arguments and fights, but rather communicating your issues in a healthy manner. Of course, you do not need to make a big deal out of everything, but if something is really bothering you, you should speak up, for your own sake and because your partner deserves to know.
5. Always wanting to prove yourself right and win arguments. If the sole purpose behind every discussion with your partner is to prove yourself right, you are ruining your relationship. When you focus on proving yourself right every time, you lose the main purpose of discussion which is solving the problem.
6. Not apologizing for your mistake and blaming your partner for everything. Letting your ego lead you in a relationship is a sure way to ruin it. Instead of turning tables, constantly blaming your partner for every problem, and not apologizing, be true to yourself and your partner. Take responsibility for your mistakes.
7. Lack of appreciation and constant criticism. Wanting to be cared for, loved, and appreciated are all basic human needs. No one likes to feel they are unappreciated, taken of granting, or even worse, that they are not good enough. Also, when you criticize everything they do, you bring their guards up as a sort of defense mechanism to everything you say.
8. Sharing too much about your relationship with others and not keeping it private. When we fight with our partners we tend to vent to a close friend or a family member, but exposing your relationship with all its details to others not only allows other people to interfere even if indirectly, but will also break the privacy you have with your partner.
9. Always putting yourself first. Relationships need compromise, and this has to go both ways. You can’t expect to take all the time without giving back.
10. Trying to change your partner. When you get into a relationship with someone, the basic foundation is acceptance. You either accept them as they are, or find yourself someone who is on the same wavelength with you.
11. Not giving your partner some space. Yes, you are doing life together, but also you should leave some breathing space for your partner. Don’t stop them from doing the things they enjoy or are passionate about just because you expect them to be with you 24/7.
12. Making your happiness their responsibility. Yes, you should be happy together as a couple, but being happy with your partner needs you to be happy with yourself first.
13. Disconnecting from your partner. Life can keep us busy sometimes, but by all means, you should always remain connected and intimate with your partner. A small gap in the beginning will lead to emotional separation along the way.
14. Not communicating your feelings and needs. It is not your partner’s job to keep guessing what you need. In doing so, you are expecting them to do all the work for you when all you need is just to voice your concerns and express yourself.
15. Keeping them always guessing and wondering. You should be an open book to your partner. There is no place for mystery in a relationship. Never fill them with doubt and leave them questioning what they mean to you. Always be open, talk about your feelings, needs, and worries; make them feel secure instead of them guessing where they stand in that relationship
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