All in the Mind

CAIRO - 12 January 2017: “The thoughts we think and the words we speak are constantly shaping our world and our experiences. Many of us are in an old habit of negative thinking and do not realize the damage we have inflicted upon ourselves. However, we are never stuck, because we can always change our thinking. As we learn to consistently choose positive thoughts, the old, negative ones dissolve away,” writes Louise Hay in Life!: Reflection on your Journey.

It is not what we say out loud that really determines our lives. It is what we whisper to ourselves that has the most power. Self-talk creates reality. Negative self-talk can lower your self-confidence, self-esteem and happiness, keeping you from accomplishing your goals. Studies show that it is pretty easy to go from positive thinking to negative thinking, but it is far harder to shift from negative to positive. The good news is that, like any other muscle, our mind can be trained. It will take some effort, but it is absolutely worth it because it is a life-changing skill.

So how do we train it?

1. Watch what you focus on
There is a great metaphor that describes the mind as a computer that has tons of files and a search window. Our focus is the search button, so if we are focusing on the negatives in ourselves and others, it automatically keeps searching all the files for more negatives. And if we focus on positive thoughts, it comes up with even more positive thoughts. What you focus on grows.

2. Self-awareness
Noticing what type of conversations you have with yourself is important. Are these conversations positive and affirming or the opposite? Learn to catch yourself when they are negative and immediately replace them with positive ones, reminding yourself of your past achievements, success and of the good comments that you have previously received.

3. Choose your words carefully
The most powerful two words are “I am” so be very cautious how you use them. People say things like “I am so stupid” or “I am completely blowing this.” Instead, stop and use words like “I am tired and cannot concentrate” or “this is not my best performance. I will do better when I am rested.” The words you choose are planted in the fertile soil of your imagination and take root. Listening to positive affirmation on a daily basis can help you change your vocabulary about yourself and boost your self-confidence.

4. Gratitude
Research at UC Davis shows that just by writing for a few minutes each day about things that you are grateful for can dramatically boost your happiness, well-being and even your health. We tend to think that misery loves company and that venting will help get rid of our negative emotions, so we continuously talk about all the bad stuff and we forget to talk about the good stuff.

5. Here and now
The past is over and you cannot go back in time except in your own mind. Replaying yesterday takes away today’s precious moments. Do not let the past control your present and future. Release all thoughts about what you should have/not done/ said. The past is over and has no power over you. Today’s thoughts create your future; you are in charge.

6. Release your fear
We’ve all passed through some harmful experiences that we do not want to repeat again. Past experiences are here to teach us a lesson and help us grow; not to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Release all fears from past negative experiences. Tell yourself that you have learned your lesson, and if the same situation happens, you will react in a wiser way. Reassure your mind that you will not be harmed twice by the same situation because you are in control.

7. Meditation and mindfulness
To do all of the above you will need to have some quiet time in your daily routine to connect with yourself and reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Meditation is to listen to your intuition trusting that life is happening for you and not to you.

Marlin Soliman is a PR guru and celebrity manager. She holds an executive management diploma and a certificate in training TOT from the International Communication Training Institute in the UK. Follow her on Facebook at “Right by Marlin Soliman”