The Bathtub Fights

Before I got engaged, people often warned me about the engagement period and especially about wedding preparations. They said it would be the hardest period and would involve lots of stress and meaningless fighting. I didn’t believe them as I know that Hany (my fiancé) and I are a really laid back couple and couldn’t care less about details of organizing a wedding since we didn’t really want one in the first place. Little did I know that ahead lay numerous challenges, and they could be triggered by the smallest details...like a bathtub. After months of searching and searching we found the perfect house in a compound in New Cairo — a common choice given the increasing housing prices that make New Cairo an affordable location for young couples. However, like every compound in the city, the house is never ready on time and the area often lacks infrastructure. So what most people decide to do is rent an apartment for a year or so until the house and surrounding area are ready. For lazy people like Hany and I, this is the best option. We were also very lucky since our compound offers to handle the flooring, painting, bathrooms and everything, we only have to pick from the available options. But there was a tiny detail in the bathroom that we wanted to change: the bathtub. We decided to buy one ourselves and replace the one they had installed. Stressing Over a Bathtub I was pretty sure that it was going to be very easy to pick — I didn’t know I was going to pick a fight over it.   It all started when Hany, on his way to pick me up, called to tell me we had to change plans and go buy the bathtub immediately instead of going to check on the progress of our compound as planned. As a lazy and disorganized person I don’t like to be rushed into doing something, especially if I have no clue how to do it. I became really irritated because not only did we have no clue where to get a bathtub, we also had no idea about the measurements or colors that would fit our bathroom. Of course I made the mistake of asking my parents where to shop for a bathtub. My sister was there, my brother in law was there and the matter of the bathtub became the topic of the day with a series of questions that made me realize I had no clue what I was doing.  With a day's worth of questions and the pressure piling up, I, of course, took it out on Hany. I yelled and told him all about us being stupid and not even knowing what we were doing and threw a full-fledged fit. And he, of course, yelled back. He told me — or to be more accurate, screamed at me — that it is normal to have questions, and we can figure it out without any need to panic. So we asked the architect for the measurements and colors and finally decided on two stores to hit. In the end, I realized that it wasn’t that hard after all. Even when Hany had more questions on whether we should buy the shower head and other things that I still don’t understand, the architect had easy and fast answers just  a phone call away. So after my storm had passed, I realized how irrational I was being over things like the measurements and colors of a bathtub. Obviously, there was no need to panic or feel under pressure over a bathtub,but I have to admit that the seemingly insignificant bathtub became a symbol for the the whole wedding process. I was in denial before convincing myself it was going to be all as laid back as we normally are. But having to deal with wedding preparations, house furnishing and finding a place to rent, all while taking decisions on small details we don’t know anything about, is indeed stressful. So here are a couple of tricks from a normally chilled, but sometimes panicky bride to avoid lashing out over a bathtub. - Take it all step by step. - Write down all the tasks you need to do and have action plans for it. - Don’t get family members involved, although they mean well it just adds unneeded pressure. - Instead of freaking out over things you don’t know, ask the experts and you will find easy and quick answers to questions that have kept you up all night. - Finally, if you are lazy like myself and don’t like spending time searching for things scattered everywhere, I recently discovered the amazing Smart Wedding Guide ,a small booklet with a full directory of hairdressers, hotels, DJs, photographers, jewelers and furniture shops. It costs LE 25 and can be found at any On The Run store or Virgin Megastore.