People heal from breakups differently, but rebounds can be one of the worst and most painful ways to get over a broken relationship. The most dangerous thing about rebounds –plus the toxicity of course- is that it is not announced. You get into a relationship with someone, it is all fun and butterflies at the beginning then suddenly it is all topsy-turvy.
Rebounds are complicated, heartbreaking, and confusing, not just to you, the reboundee, but surprisingly for the rebounder themselves, and yes they might not even realize they are rebounding, or that they are using you as a rebound.
So, what exactly is a rebound relationship?
A rebound is more of a healing mechanism that takes up the empty space left by the previous relationship, happening quickly after breakup and usually people rebound with someone who is the complete opposite of their previous partner. It is basically when you want to rid yourself of the misery of a broken heart and instead of finding closure with yourself, you carry that emotional baggage into the next relationship. People seek rebounds for so many reasons, some to bring back their self-esteem and feel wanted again, others in attempt to get over their feelings for their ex. Whatever the reason is, rebounds are full of complexities and confusion, and the end is usually not pleasant.
So, here are undeniable signs that can save you early on from falling into the trap of a rebound
1. The breakup is very recent. If they’ve just gotten out of a deep and serious relationship, they’ll definitely need their time to recover and move on. Getting into a new relationship a couple of weeks or months later after the breakup is only an indicator that they are seeking someone to ease their emotional pain, and here is where the reboundee role comes to play.
2. They are distant and won’t open up. In rebounds, you feel like you cannot reach them emotionally and that there’s a big gap even if you get to spend so much time together. This is because rebounders aren’t usually emotionally invested in the relationship and do not exert an effort in bonding emotionally. Rebounds always feel very causal, empty, or focused only on physical intimacy.
3. They are not consistent and barely commit to any plans. Rebounders are just in it for the fun or to fulfill their own needs, theirs only. Accordingly, all their actions aren’t usually driven by sincere feelings or genuine care, but rather based on their mood. They can sometimes skip a day or two without contacting you and refuse to arrange plans ahead like planning a vacation together or a night out with friends. They would usually let you know when the set date is closer, and that’s not because they are busy, but rather not sure about wanting to really make plans with you.
4. The physical attraction overpowers the emotional bond. Emotionally, the relationship feels really empty while physical intimacy is peaking. If they constantly talk about nothing more profound than the physical aspect of the relationship, then this should be a major warning sign.
5. They either talk too much about their ex or refuse to talk about them altogether. They constantly ramble about their ex, whether complaining or remembering how amazing they were, even worse, they openly compare the traits between both of you. In other instances, they refuse to mention their ex at all, and just bringing up the topic fills them with bitterness or anger. These stand as an alarming red flags that your partner isn’t over their ex yet.
6. The relationship is moving both fast and slow at the same time. From the looks of it, the relationship is progressing really fast, but deep down it is shallow and none of you really know anything about one another. Their interest in you runs hot and cold. One day they are showering you with extra doses of sweetness and the next day they’re distant. This is an indicator that they’re in it just to fill an emotional void or fulfill certain needs.
7. You have a strong gut instinct that they would get back to their ex if they get a chance. It needs no rocket science to tell when someone is not over their ex yet. So the question is, if and when a moment presents itself where the ex is back in the picture, do you think the person you’re dating would take them back? If the answer is “I do not know” or “Maybe” and you’re left with doubts, there is no stronger proof that the one you’re dating is seeking your company as a transitional healing phase and that is what it’s all about.